"Judging ones own writing is like looking in a mirror. What you tell yourself about what you see in the reflection has far more to do with how you feel about yourself than with how you actually look." Betsy Lerner

Long time no posts!! The summer is going,going,almost gone. In a few days Ira and I will be celebrating 39 years of married life which means it is the end of August. It also means we are inching closer and closer to Baby Gio's entrance into the world. All thoughts and future plans are centered around this exciting event. Loose ends are slowly coming together in everyone's lives so I am relaxing a bit more with the details. Looking forward to Gabe's arrival home at the end of next month. I have really missed him and look forward to hearing about his most excellent adventure. This latest picture tells me we might have a future surfer in the wings. He looks good and I smile every time I see it.



We have all been through a pretty tough year. So many changes have taken place in all of our lives. It feels like we have held steady through the storm and brighter days are ahead, but who knows. I'm working on being content in all things,which is easier said than done.

I like this quote that I found in my journal coming from an interpretation of John 14:27

"This is the acid test that we should apply to all systems and understandings. If some advice on how we are to live claims to be the truth of God then it had better be effective. God's provision and life NEVER fails. This does not mean that physical prosperity or even physical health is the sign of God's blessing on a life. Rather...the ability to endure all things is the mark of the life lived by submission to the truth of God. It is the presence of peace and rest in all circumstances of our living that marks a life as one which is being lived in accord with the Father's truth."

How true!!

LIFE WITH MAXWELL

In the midst of the lazy days of summer. Feeling a bit confined these days as I attempt to train this puppy. Don't feel comfortable leaving him for too long so my job has become official puppy watcher. Tomorrow night will be the longest amount of time we will be away as we will be going to the Grandfather Mountain Celtic Concert for an evening of food and music. He'll be fine......I keep telling myself!!












Lesson's from Dogs:

Live simply
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

ZOE TURNED INTO MAX

Where has the time gone. Running and jumping into July already. Thoughts of what we are doing and where we will be this winter are starting to surface and I don't like it!! I've got to stop and smell the roses. One big rose that has kept me hopping lately is this fine specimen of a animal named Maxwell. We bit the bullet and got ourselves a new member of the family. It was all kind of sudden but we both felt it was time. It has been a year since Bess passed on and I could just feel that the timing to start this journey was here. Our friends Steve and Lisa's white lab had a liter of nine pups and on our last time out there it was love at first sight. Though we had originally planned on a female, we changed our minds at the last minute.



He has been with us for a week now and we are slowly falling into a nice rhythm. He sleeps in a crate all through the night and rarely has an accident in the house so we're pretty lucky. Just like with a new baby it is all consuming.....watching his every move, doctor's appts. for shots, not being able to leave the house. It's temporary....so I think I can handle it. Like these days that turn into weeks, that turn into months; he will be full grown before I know it.

No real spiritual insights lately other than the word I got this morning....TRUST. God has been pushing that point to me a lot lately. In all of the many changes that are going on in our lives, He wants me to relax and trust Him. I have a way of throwing in the "what if" a lot and that is the part that always trips me up. The what if is covered when we are abiding and then the trust comes floating in. Practice makes perfect.

OH HAPPY DAY!!

What a busy weekend it has been!! Last night we all fell into our places on the couch and felt like we had run a marathon. Eli and Jill arrived Friday evening and we have been laughing and loving with each other non stop and we still have one more day until their sad departure. Eli wanted to cram as much as he could into these few days with his brothers, so they have been on the tennis courts, at the bowling alley and golf,golf and more golf from the get go. Last night was a pizza throw down which I guess you could say Ira won but only because Eli was out of his element....he's got his "white pie" down pat at home.


Jill and I sat back and watched the fun and took pictures. We've got so many good ones. Fathers day was shared with George and Nellie and all the brothers in an arcade in Lenoir of all places. George and Nellie held up pretty well through all the craziness and noise and I think really enjoyed themselves.


It was just good to all be together as they don't get to see the kids that often now that everyone is getting so spread out. Only Bethany and Gabe were missing but we heard from them several times over the weekend.

The next big event is the arrival on maybe Thursday of our newest addition to the family......Zoe!! Yes, we decided to do it and make it my birthday present but wanted to wait until all the hoopla dies down so we don't scare her to death. After a short trip to Atlanta on Tuesday, we will ride out to the farm to pick her up. I have been thinking non-stop about her all week and as much as I know there will be much work and responsibility associated with this decision, I think I am in need of all that she will bring to our life . As I've said before, are you ever really ready for the work that love requires?? Thinking a lot about that aspect of love....the sacrifice. This line from a Christina Rossetti poem speaks to where I've inched towards the past few years and have felt that as life has calmed down somewhat, I don't feel there has been much fruit and isn't it all about bearing the fruit of the vine?

God hardens me against myself,
The coward with pathetic voice
Who craves for ease, and rest and joys;

Myself, arch-traitor to myself;
My hollowest friend, my deadliest foe,
My clog whatever road I go.

Yet one there is can curb myself,
Can roll the strangling load from me,
Break off the yoke and set me free.

Of course that is the Lord that desires to live my life with all the twists and turns that will ever be with me until we meet face to face. I'm saying bring it on!! We now enter into a new generation of family members that will supply a new map and I know the journey will be a roller coaster ride...just like the beginning. I'm too young to be sitting in my rocking chair in a retired mentality of life but after such a crazy,hectic, thirty eight years of children,animals,businesses and the immense responsibility with each one, I just got burned out. I always tell Ira that I think I need new shock absorbers because mine are worn out.

So I've been praying for a new set of whatever that thing is that softens the hard knocks, so that I can continue on for the next 20-30 years. Love will require sacrifice....just face it. There is no easy road around it but the reward is worth every difficult day!


I think my new baby Zoe will be the front runner.

UP UP AND AWAY

Today we will once again fly off into the sunset....this time to spend a few days with our beautiful daughter. Orlando here we come and as we don't really having any schedule other than hanging out and enjoying each others company, it should be a great trip. We do have a concert Monday evening to hear one of our favorite artists ,Bon Iver, make his beautiful music but other than that I think we will just wing it. Always nervous flying, so the sooner we land on solid ground the better. I also realize the 2 1/2 hour road trip to the airport holds just as much danger as flying the friendly skies so I need to relax and know that when it's time to go...it's time to go!





Well the last week was filled with a few new experiences. Yesterday we made the trip out to our friends farm for dinner and a look at the new batch of puppies that their dog Ella produced and what an evening it was. Nine of the most adorable little creatures that got my baby juices flowing. The urge to cuddle,kiss and coo at these beautiful babies brought out a side of me that has been lying dormant. When Bess passed away I wondered what I would do without that source of outlet. It did not surface towards my husband which did cross my mind. Instead it just laid dormant and now I feel those familiar feelings creeping back. We do have a new baby coming round the bend so I am happy to know that whether puppy or grandchild God is priming the pump! We both do agree that it might be time to open our hearts to a furry friend and so though we did not go home last night with a new member of the family....we are thinking about it. They really are not ready to leave the nest anyway and we will be gone until next week so the big decision will take place once we are back home. As always our trip to Steve and Lisa's gets my buried "farm girl" mindset going. Their place is just too beautiful to describe and every time we make the trip, we see yet another addition to the world they are creating. When they are finished, if that time ever comes, they will have painted a masterpiece. I'm ready to put our house on the market and look for our own 50 acres, with the difference being we will have a little place called the Sugar Shack on the property where we will welcome guests to come have a bite to eat,listen to some awesome music and unwind (we've got to make a living somehow)!! That is why this property is so hard to find because it has to be fairly accessible and most of the farms that I find are way too off the beaten path. Oh well, if it is to be, it will come to me



Also had a great time last weekend camping in Julian Price Park. It is only a few miles from our house but it couldn't be a better place. The kids got us an inflatable kayak for our birthdays and also a six man tent so we were anxious to break the new equipment in. Of course this bout of constant rain put somewhat of a damper on it but we did manage to use the few hours of sunshine on Sat. to put the boat in the water. I love to camp and we plan to make good use of all our new toys this summer.




There are many simple pleasures available here in N.C. Just taking a hike in these Appalachian mountains is something we never take for granted. It will be good to experience Florida again and maybe make up our minds once and for all, where we belong. It's very hard going back and forth, especially if we are going to do another business so this trip just might be the beginning of some long awaited answers.

Got my first glimpse of our soon to be grandchild yesterday and so I will post it here for all to see and marvel at. The video is on my Facebook page. My mouth was open the whole time as I watched this little life swing and sway to the song "See You Soon" by Coldplay that Eli so cleverly arranged. It's hard to make out heads or tails at 21 weeks but I'm sure I saw a little hand wave to me and the last frame is of a tiny little head with a turned up little nose that made me weep. Grandmother love is going to be an experience of a lifetime and I am so ready to begin the journey. Many of my friends are way ahead of me but now it's my turn!!!

I realize just how much I love each child and the urgency that I have within for each one's well being and that this is what God must feel for us as well because we are His birthed children. Same love, same desire for everything that we are going through. It says in His word that "He knew us while we were in our mothers womb"; kind of like us all peering into Jill's womb through the wonders of technology and feeling as if we know this little one already. All the hopes and dreams and plans for a bright future are of course the prayers we have for our unborn children. Once they arrive into this world the issues of life sometimes provide a few twists and turns we didn't expect. As I've said before there seems to be a direct parallel with our relationship with God and our relationship with our children. I like to stop and think about this every now and then as it gives me a deeper understanding of how God is growing us up. The image that the Bible paints of container and content seems so right. "We have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves"(2 Corinthians 4:7)


I like this explanation by Dan Stone:
We are earthen vessels. We have this treasure in earthen vessels. The beauty of the vessel is it;s content. The frustration of the vessel is when the vessel tries to become the contents. When we reduce the illustration to that, we see how silly it is to try to be the contents. If you became the contents, there wouldn't be any vessel to hold you. You can't be both the vessel holding(expressing)the life of God and at the same time try to be the life of God. Your eternal purpose is not to become the contents of the cup. Your eternal purpose is to be the vessel, to let the life flow out of you. We reflect the glory and the nature of the One we contain. God manifest Himself to men through men. He first did it through the God-man Jesus and He does it now through us."

So we now have another little vessel coming into the world who we call Baby-Gio at the moment. I pray that God has a great and wondrous image of Himself that He is preparing to express through this perfect container. I vow as his/her grandmother to do all I can to love,cherish,and support this creation of God. My cup runneth over!!!

Climbing A Mountain

Today is the eight day of my ten day fast and so I think it is time to put down on paper if only for future reference some of the highs and lows of taking on this mountain of self-restraint. I have to admit,the last time I took on this task, my motivations were more from the physical rather than spiritual. Everyone swore you would drop 10lbs and they were indeed correct and as much as I would like to slim down the 10lbs I put back on in the course of a year,that was not my motivation this go round.

The Lord has been dealing with me in the area of the division of flesh and Spirit for the past few months. I have been on a quest of some sort, trying to figure out what is it and where exactly does the pull of temptation come from and why is it ever with you from the small seemingly insignificant areas of your life to the larger issues. I read a fantastic book last year by William Landon called The Devil You Don't Know and came to a better understanding of just where this magnetic pull resides. Much is spoken in scripture of the division of soul and spirit and the components of each one. Soul being the container for our mind,will and emotions and Spirit being the container that was created to connect and have relationship with God. The body or flesh of course is what houses it all. Landon's point is that our soul when animated by the Spirit is much like a masterpiece....meaning a poem, a song, a dance, any work of art that is completed to it's perfection. On the other hand the soul animated by the flesh which is the dwelling place of our fall away from God, encompasses all of the inner turmoil and angst that nips at our heels continually to pull us away from Truth. Of course we were given free will to choose between the two which is how it should be. Nothing forced could ever be true and pure. God has given us a little window which we call "time" to work this choice out but what He's really after is a family birthed for eternity that lives and breathes and moves with and in Him. Similar to our own birthed earthly families....one in spirit but separate.

So this fast has been interesting as it has made me look deeper into this thing called Soul, where in the past I have put so much emphasis on the things of the Spirit. I know the Spirit is where God lives and have spent over 30 years studying His ways of dealing with mankind but never gave a lot of attention to the Soul other than realizing that it expresses much of what I exhibit to the world.....how I think, what I choose, how I feel. I could sense this past year a real laziness taking hold in several areas of my life that did not feel good. I started eating things that were not healthy,drinking one to many glasses of wine,putting exercise on the back burner. I could feel this strong pull within to just take a vacation and curl up and get fat and lazy. Now I know that God loves me too much to let that happen and so my inner promptings from Him were to wake up,focus and get back on track before you move into an area you will not be happy with.

The challenge has become discipline with a capital D! The mind speaking to the body versus the other way around. Of course the first thing you have to do is choose a mind animated by God or else the opposite will be a mind that wants nothing better than to render you useless and ineffective; then of course all your promptings will be,"have another piece of cake", it's too dreary out to run", "one more won't hurt","if it feels good do it","no one will ever know". Maybe they won't, but the inner dissatisfaction will start eating away at you and there will be a price to pay.

So......I took the challenge. Ten days of denying my flesh. I'm taking my vitamins, drinking plenty of lemon water and cleansing with Senna tea and feel very energetic and able to go another ten days if I chose to which I don't think I will. The real battle with this truly has been in the mind. By day four, I was starting to hear the voice of defeat saying maybe it would be better to just do a five day fast, rather than ten or maybe just eating a few raw veggies wouldn't be so bad. Many whispers to pull me away from my goal of continuing on and I still have three days to go. I swore I was not going to look at the scale since I did say that this is not about weight and what did I do on day six.....I looked at the scale! Believe it or not I GAINED two pounds!!! How could that be?? I haven't eaten a darn thing in six days and I gained weight??? I had to have a long talk with myself that night as I could feel my motivation slipping. A reminder of how much the Lord is involved in this vessel He is shaping and so I haven't looked since. Maybe this is a spring board for a deeper understanding of this journey I have chosen. God has told us that our growth will be in stages just as a child grows; baby,young man and father.(1John 2:12-14) I know that I am always pressing on for this mystery which is Christ-in you. I would appreciate your prayers.

LETTER TO BEN

Ben,
Can you print this out and read it when you have some time to really think about the words. I thought about you all night after our long conversation. I did my walk this morning at 6:30 feeling so good. This fast I'm doing is amazing...it's like a real high that you experience when you cleanse your body from all the toxic garbage we ingest. Anyway I'm talking to the Lord the whole time about how I know you are at a searching and coming into who you really are now and I just so want you to understand the deep,deep things of the Spirit life. Today in the news on CNN there is an article on how so many people are losing or changing their religion. The article goes on and on about this denomination and that religion and I just shake my head because it is so obvious that 75% of the people don't have a clue as to what's going on. The whole point is all they have is a religion....a way of making sense of life that makes them feel good. One person thinks this and one person thinks that and they create a following of people that don't know how to think on their own. The point is that God has made us as containers for His life. It's not about something some human,thus inferior, man has dreamed up. All you have to do is realize that He made us for Himself. He is birthing a family where we will be with Him and each other for eternity. If it's just about life on this earth how sad would that be. The only way I could bear to lose any of you is to know that we will all be together again soon in a perfect world without sin. So mainly I just want to say......I realize you hear a lot of things from your friends that are New Age or New World stuff and that's OK, we''re told to test the spirits but please don't ever let go of Jesus who makes our true happiness and joy possible. I love you so so much.



Self-Consciousness and Christ Consciousness
Norman P. Grubb

We are desperately conscious of the two opposing principles of good and evil through all life. They confront us in human nature, in the business, political and social world. They give rise to the constant tensions among nations, races, classes, right down to our own family circles; They are the theme of ethics and religion. They come closest home to us in our own personal lives, the conflict of flesh and spirit, the interweaving of prosperity and adversity, joy and sorrow, friendship and enmity, justice and injustice, health and disease, kindness and cruelty, through the whole garment of life. Now, though we are Christ's, we share in this divided world. We are part of it. We eat its food, partake in its activities, earn its money, taste of its sorrows and tragedies, and endure its temptations. Though one'd with Christ in spirit, we are still one with the world in body. Therefore, though new men in Christ, we still have a duality of consciousness: we have self-consciousness, world-consciousness, we are in the world (but not of it: John 17:13,16), in the flesh (but not of it: Gal.5:24), in self (but not of it: Gal.2:20). A great proportion of our waking hours must necessarily be spent in the affairs of this world, with Christ in the background rather than foreground of our consciousness. Sin only enters when we are consciously drawn into activities and attitudes which we know to be displeasing to Him. While we are in this divided world, we cannot have solely a Christ-consciousness. We must also have a self-consciousness: certainly it is the renewed self which knows how to maintain its abiding place: yet it is also a self-conscious self, responsive to all the stimuli of its environment, therefore as open to temptation fleshward as to Christ-control spiritward. It is still a case of "nevertheless I live", as well as, "yet not I, but Christ liveth in me".

The name God has given to humanity separated from Himself by the Fall - is "flesh" (Gen. 6:3). We are all flesh, Even the Savior, when He came to be among us, was "God manifested in the flesh". Not until the resurrection of the body, the final and complete state of unification with our ascended Head, can any member of the human race cease to be flesh. Flesh implies consciousness of separation from God, self-consciousness apart from Christ-consciousness. That does not necessarily mean something evil. Christ "in the days of His flesh" was conscious of his human self as apart from the Father with whom He was one (e.g.John 5:19). It is not flesh, which is evil, but the lusts of the flesh. And even they are not evil unless they are permitted to reign instead of serve. Self-consciousness, flesh-consciousness, is the normal and essential prerequisite, as members of this fallen human race, to a continuous life of faith, for it compels us constantly to "look away" from our helpless selves unto Jesus (Heb.12:2): and as we do so, flesh then becomes the servant and manifestor of Spirit. But the moment we fail to look away, then flesh becomes an evil thing, natural "desires of flesh and mind" have us in their grip, and become dominating, discordant lusts, and we their slaves.

Therefore, let us get it clear; we shall never in this life be free from a sense of self, as well as a realization of the indwelling Christ. We shall never, therefore, be free from temptation in a world that exists to tempt, nor be free from the daily necessity of vigilance and abiding. The chapter of triumphant living, Rom.8, significantly enough is the very chapter which warns against the subtleties of the surrounding flesh, and expresses our groaning amidst our rejoicing, as we long for the final redemption of the body, and are saved, not only by faith, but by hope.

For this reason, then, it is of utmost importance that we understand the exact relationship between the renewed self and the other Glorious Self, Christ Himself who dwells within. It is the hardest lesson we have to learn, and cannot be learned except in the hard way. Nothing but frequent and strong doses of the false activities of self can teach us this lesson. It is peculiarly subtle because it is now not a case of a troublesome bad self, but an anxious, frustrated, condemned good self; not good in the positive sense of being able to do good things, but good in the negative sense of wanting to do good and no longer wanting to do evil; a purified self, but though pure, still empty: just as a cup may be clean, but what really matters is the fluid it contains.

ARE WE THERE YET???

Seems like I've been asking that question for some time now. We have had so many teasings the past few months. Beautiful warm weather where I would think....finally the winter is behind us and then wham, we would get hit with another round of frigid temperatures and snow but.....I think we can safely say that Spring has sprung. Last night we made it official with a picnic at Price Lake. We cooked hot dogs and roasted marshmallows so it sure did feel like a summer afternoon. Today the weather should be even better so thoughts of Watauga Lake are starting to surface.




We had an interesting Easter weekend. In reflecting on the past week and in fact the past year, God is showing me that you can make all the plans you want but He will direct your path and you better be ready to happily change directions if need be or life will not be pretty. Easter is always a very emotional time of year for me. I get very weepy and contemplative and most always experience a joyous high after the collective celebration of He Is Risen!! For many years we have been in various places with friends and family planning some sort of inspirational way of coming together for this special day. This year since all the kids were elsewhere and being back in Blowing Rock with no real church family we decided to do the sunrise service on Chimney Rock near Lake Lure. I had every detail planned out which is how I like to do things but from the moment we left, nothing went as planned. Our timing was off so we got there much later than expected. We did get a good laugh from our motel accommodations which were not what we expected and since the season hasn't quite started in the area, not too many things were open so there wasn't very much to do but drive around.



We managed to find a place to eat and concentrated on "planning" the sunrise service the next morning. The sign said that the gates opened at 5am so I set the alarm for 5am thinking we would get there around 5:30 but Ira convinced me that sunrise wasn't until 6:40 and since the weather was frigid, let's get there at 6:15. I reluctantly agreed. We arrived at 6:10 on a frosty Easter morning only to find that the gates were closed and one car after the other turning around in disappointment. They failed to let everyone know that they closed the gates at 6am. I was VERY disappointed to say the least. My best laid plans were falling apart and there we were riding around in the cold car trying to figure out what to do next. There wasn't even a place open to get a cup of coffee and of course there wasn't a coffee pot in the room! When I'm up that early...I need my coffee so we walked into a big hotel on the lake where we usually stay when finances aren't so tight and asked the clerk at the desk if we could have a cup of coffee. He was so nice and welcoming and after telling him of our dilemma with coffee in hand, he pointed us towards an out of the way park that sits on the lake with a spot on view of the rising sun. My spirit is lifting as I realize all is not lost and maybe God has a different plan in mind, so off we go to have our own Resurrection celebration complete with hot coffee, small radio for music and God's glorious landscape of mountains,lake,flowers,trees,two white geese and that beautiful sun rising in the distance.


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By now I am leaping with joy and realizing it can't get any better than this and Ira and I are in silent prayer and thanksgiving for what this all means. God spoke in my heart of the irony of all that has happened in our life this year and this little scene kind of summed it up. So many things the past few years have been twisted and turned in directions that we had never planned. I have to say that nothing has been stable. Our living situation,our friendships, our business,our finances our feelings of security in this world have all been turned upside down. We have spent so many years going with the flow that this abrupt bend in the road has not come easy and I admit that my attitude hasn't always been the best. Just when the sun was inching up over the horizon and we're sitting there on the bench with tears in our eyes, this song came on the radio by Third Day and I lost it. It speaks of losing your way on the journey and asking God to give you a revelation of what,where and how He wants to use you and though I've never been at a place of losing my faith, I can relate to the place of losing my direction or maybe it's just the turn in the road where you can't quite see what the direction is. Anyway, it did me in and confirmed to Ira once again that I'm an emotional basket case! I'm dramatic...God's dramatic in me. He always uses words and music to stir my soul. So it was a very good day and I am optimistic about what lies ahead for us.

REVELATION
by Third Day

My life has led me down the road that's so uncertain
Now I am left alone and I am broken
Trying to find my way
Trying to find the faith that's gone

This time I know that you are holding all the answers
I'm tired of losing hope and taking chances
On roads that never seem
To be the ones that bring me home

Give me a revelation
Show me what to do
'Cause I've been trying to find my way
I haven't got a clue
Tell me should I stay here
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without you
I've got nothing without you

My life has led me down this path that's ever winding
Through every twist and turn, I'm always finding
That I am lost again
Tell me when this road will ever end

I don't know where I can turn
Tell me, when will I learn
Won't you show me where I need to go
Let me follow your lead
I know that it's the only way that I can get back home

This has been an interesting week full of sunshine and snow and wind and rain and today we seem to be moving back towards more spring-like weather. Ira and I spent a wonderful Sunday afternoon hiking the trails in the Linville Gorge. We started early and had breakfast on the road at a favorite diner and then did some photo shoots along the Blue Ridge Parkway. It was just one of those days where the temperature was perfect with full sun and not a cloud in the sky. We brought along a picnic lunch even though we didn't really get hungry until much later in the day. The views were awesome and I got a few good shots to add to the album.


It was just fun to have a relaxed day enjoying this beautiful town we live in. Sometimes you just have to stop and smell the roses which is just what we did. Thank heavens for that perfect day, as the next day we were hit with a little snow event that has kept us indoors for most of the week. I'm ready for Spring at this point and also ready to get something going on the work front. Looked at a couple of closed down restaurants that we are considering but no final decision yet. I feel we are getting close but realize that God is doing something in both Ira and I as we wait for His answer and not our frantic searching for who knows what. Many in our family are in this same place so we pass on encouragement to each other daily. In the mean time we will try very hard to enjoy the journey as we leave for an overnight on Sat. to a sunrise service in another favorite spot of our ours, Lake Lure N.C. where we will give thanks to God for a risen Savior. We will climb the mountain in pitch darkness at Chimney Rock with other believers and sing praises of thanksgiving as we wait for the rising sun to appear. Last year it was over the lake and this year on a mountain top but we glory in the knowledge that He is the same yesterday, today and forever.(Hebrews 13:8)

Prayer

Pray without Ceasing
Fred Pruitt

I finally understood what Paul said, maybe, when he talked about being ''always'' praying. In my beginning days, ''prayer'' was a hard thing to do, a chore, but a means to an end I thought. Two ends, maybe. One, finding God. (That one won out.) Two, solving the world's and my problems. (Didn't have as much luck with that one.)

I can't think of a moment these days where God is not there and there is not prayer. Paul said, ''Pray without ceasing,'' and what a tall order, huh?! Ever try fulfilling that?

But these days the only life I know is prayer. Not like a church service or something, though it could be. I'm not talking about being holy joe.

I just mean that the flow of life around us spontaneously pulls God out of our depths into manifested light in the world. And I think as He is pulled out of us the Spirit groans within us with words that cannot be uttered. They are the constant undercurrent of our lives. A river of living water, which we consciously or unconsciously utter in our hearts and minds and sometimes with our mouths.

God in our beginning days is a foreign concept, a step into the unknown, an untried promise.

But our faith settles and what we sought long ago to do, ''pray without ceasing'', has become as naturally incessant as breathing, for there is no other air to breathe, save the Breath of God, no other food to eat, save the Word of God.

If we lie in the gutter, or sit on a throne, no other air, no other food.

Well, since God is All in all and everything, even down to the minutest level and up to the most vast reaches of interstellar space, is composed of and consists of HIM, I'm so glad John tells us, ''God is Love.

BIG NEWS!!!

OH JOY, OH JOY.....I finally can announce to the world that I am going to be a grandmother. We have been waiting to get through the first trimester and now that the nervous days of being careful in those first few months are solidly behind us, Jill and Eli have given us the green light to share the news with the world. To say we are excited is an understatement. I have been waiting for this moment and I hope many more to come since I resigned myself to the fact that no more babies were coming into the Wilson household....at least from me. I have to admit that the realization of that was very sad but age and the wear and tear on my body from five pregnancies had shouted loud and clear.....the reproductive years are over!! It is now time for the next generation and so it is. More to come on this blessed event as we anticipate the September arrival.
SO HAPPY!!!!





The Mother
by Robert William Service

Your children grow from you apart,
Afar and still afar;
And yet it should rejoice your heart
To see how glad they are;
In school and sport, in work and play,
And last, in wedded bliss
How others claim with joy to-day
The lips you used to kiss.

Your children distant will become,
And wide the gulf will grow;
The lips of loving will be dumb,
The trust you used to know
Will in another's heart repose,
Another's voice will cheer . . .
And you will fondle baby clothes
And brush away a tear.

But though you are estranged almost,
And often lost to view,
How you will see a little ghost
Who ran to cling to you!
Yet maybe children's children will
Caress you with a smile . . .
Grandmother love will bless you still,--
In just a little while.

Dreary,foggy March day in the mountains. It's the kind of day where you contemplate staying in bed all day reading and writing and watching old movies. It is Sunday and so I think I can get away with it but then there is the constant nagging push to get out there and make something happen. Ira and I have finally agreed to do another restaurant. I have been wanting this for so many years. I always knew that there was another one up our sleeve but his negative feelings of those hard living years have always canceled me out. Now out of necessity he is changing his mind. His timing isn't the greatest with this rotten economy but then we never do things the easy way which usually makes it that much more rewarding. Our battle seems to be finding the location. I have a vision for what I want and so far it is not forthcoming. Several weeks ago we even took a trip to Fla.to see if perhaps that perfect spot in my mind was in a warmer climate and though we had a great little vacation, we ended up back where we started. We feel more at home here in the mountains where we have lived for over 30 years and people know us and our reputation and so unless God gives us a different vision, I think we will continue our search right here. In the meantime we piddle around with Ira and Josh's car lot which is not producing much and wait for Divine direction!!

This rocky time of uncertainty is producing some interesting effects. Funny how money or the lack of it can stop you in your tracks. I feel like we are reverting to the enthusiasm of our beginning years where we were all about the excitement of living on faith that God was mapping out a new frontier. Sometimes we get too comfortable with resting on what we have accomplished instead of looking at what lies ahead. I frankly love the thought of those innocent, faith filled years of trusting God for our daily bread. We never had one thought that He wouldn't provide our every need and He never let us down. We proudly recall those times of supply and it was and always has been our testimony of this life in the Spirit. So here we are again....a few years older but really only stronger in our faith. This time our vision selfishly might include some of my adult children which makes me smile. How great would it be to have your children and grandchildren all a part of this business of my dreams. They most certainly would be more helpful than the first time around when they were children. We even have musical talent to provide the entertainment. Ben was just here for spring break and I took some shots of him and his guitar one sunny afternoon. He and Josh are the poets and music makers in the family and hopefully they will carve out a path of expression in that direction.
I love this song that Ben wrote and asked him to write some of the words to it in my journal. I find many of his songs hard to forget with beautiful melody and poetic verse.




Lord take this open mind
Lead me to finer times
Help me be all that I am.

Help me to see the lies
Read fine between the lines
Help me be all that I am.

I watch the leaves all fall
I try to catch them all

Lord make this appetite
Grow more with every bite
Feed me with all of your plans.

Help me to let you lead
See you in everything
I'll see it more in your hands.

I watch the leaves all fall
I try to catch them all
I watch the leaves all fall.

Isn't that beautiful?? I love my family and look forward to the future where we all will come into the true expression of all that we are in Him.

And The Two Shall Become One

Long time away from the blog. Life has been too heavy in so many directions that it has been hard to sit and try to put it all into words. But a very bright spot occurred on Jan.18th when Eli and Jill became man and wife. Beautiful,wonderful,glorious wedding and now the two have become one. It was a weekend in Columbus,Ohio that we will hold dear in our hearts forever. Along with all the changes our country is going through, our family is also in the midst of change and I know that God holds us in the palm of His hand and realize that "to much is given, much is required." Our blessings are many and our newest blessing is our beautiful new daughter-in-law. As I timidly tip toe into this new year I anxiously await what lies ahead. I don't think Ira and I have ever been more surrendered and that's a good thing!! Just a few pics to record the joy of the journey.