NEW LIFE!!

Well the last week was a week to remember. If being overjoyed with the anticipated arrival of Spring and witnessing the gorgeous signs of new birth wasn’t enough.....one more whisper of new life being fashioned and formed was about to descend and my world was on the verge of being shaken once more. It started out like any other day. I worked until about two o’clock and was not particularly agitated or stressed in any way. I did some preview viewings of a few houses with a fellow agent in my office and went home to take Max for a walk but the minute I got home I felt very overcome with emotion. Tried to shake it off and figure out what was going one with me. I just wanted to sit down and cry but couldn’t figure out what exactly was the problem. I decided to clean house, as that is always a remedy to release pent up emotions but the entire time I talked, argued and counseled myself for any number of reasons as to why I was feeling so fragile. This went on for hours, until I gave in and just sat down on the bed and cried.....and I mean cried!! I sobbed into Max’s furry neck and I know gave him the first glimpse of human distress that he has ever seen in his one year old life. His concerned look and sheepish demeanor told me that he loved me and was sorry that I was sad.

Pulled myself together and carried on, still puzzled by this overwhelming feeling of emotion that seemed to come out of nowhere. Got dinner started and when Ira came home I didn’t say anything. I think I wanted to see if he could pick up on the fact that I was not myself....but of course he didn’t and so I decided to just shake it off, have dinner and just go to bed and tomorrow would be a new day.

Well the phone rang about 8:30pm and my one and only daughter gave her usual cheery hello and asked what I was doing. Watching "Dancing With The Stars" was my teary eyed reply. She asked me to get on line as she wanted to show me something. She said to have her Dad come look too, so after a few minutes of connecting to the internet we were up and running. I’m thinking, it must be something with the new house they are remodeling, maybe a new paint color or a picture of the awnings. As I clicked on the download a very different picture came into view.

 
Can I convey what I felt in mere words on this page??  I don’t think I will ever be able to verbalize what happened in that moment. There before my eyes, was a sonogram of my newest grandchild......a baby lying in the womb of my little girl!!!  I jumped off the chair, handed the phone to Ira and out of my mouth came a wail like cry that merged into a laugh, then back to a sob that I’ve never experienced before. My daughter who I at many times doubted whether she would ever find her true love, let alone experience childbirth, was smack dab in the middle of her dream come true and mine as well. That sob I uttered was filled with gratitude, thanksgiving, relief, joy and most importantly the anticipation of the love that she will finally know and experience for herself when she and Brian hold that dear one in their arms.

Would I have had this reaction if she was in her twenties....I’m not sure. Is it a mother/daughter thing.....again I don’t know. All I know is that something has broken this past year in my heart. We have a whole list of hopes and dreams for our children and when they don’t line up exactly as we had hoped, I think we make an emotional adjustment to support them in whatever state they are in but secretly we call out to God to give us and them the desire of our hearts.  That is what this has been for so long.....a desire of the heart that God has given and I am so thankful for it.  Bethany has waited, been patient, cheerful and content in whatever place she found herself in and I admire that  tremendously. There might just be something special about waiting for the right events to manifest themselves into your life rather than forcing and forming something that is just not ready to happen.

As I think on these things, I realize that the same movement is going on in my life these past years.  So anxious to put into motion what I think I want/need in my marriage, business ,living situation and I get very impatient with God because He seems to be so silent sometimes.  Was my wail of emotion all about Bethany or was there a cry of relief to realize that  God is enough!!!  He has written my life on His heart and He knows every twist and turn that I am experiencing and has given me many instances to ponder on the word....Wait!  I trust Him with my life and with theirs and I am starting to see a glimpse of the bigger picture and it is more than I could have hoped for. I am being constantly reminded to stop looking at the seen and lean more to the unseen. In doing that you must rely on your faith that God is a Father who loves his children and wants them to be happy. He has made me very happy this past week and given me insight into a few things I have been struggling with. Life is a tapestry that He is weaving and the finished work is beautiful.


“Weave in faith and God will find the thread.”  ~Author Unknown

Spring In The Mountains

 A rainbow is a good way to get the season off to a good start and this one was a real doozy!! One of those sights where you jump off the couch and say "oh my gosh.....look at that rainbow" and then just stand there in awe until you realize time is ticking and if you don't get your camera, you will be kicking yourself!!

The weather has been incredible the past few weeks which is why my writing and reading have taken a back burner. You just want to be outside soaking up all this glorious sunshine. I feel a stronger appreciation for the blue skies this time around and I was wondering why it hit me so hard this year. As I was walking down the road the other day I almost got choked up remembering Ira and Max and I trudging down the same road a few months ago, wrapped up in hats and scarfs and gloves, fighting off the harsh winds and blinding snow coming at us full force and a shot of emotion just filled me, on this now beautiful spring day with all signs of new life and green grass and sunshine bursting forth. For some reason life becomes more meaningful when we weather the storms and come through on the other side. I've found this to be true in all walks of life. Especially in business we have always said that our success was due in part to the extreme difficulties we were able to handle in those beginning years. We looked back and knew that we had earned everything we had worked so hard for and had a sense of pride to know that we didn't give up.

So.... as much as I complained about the winter, it is now over and good times are ahead. This has been an exciting time in our family as we all came together to share in the wedding vows of Gabe and Katie on March 20th and a perfect and most beautiful wedding it was. We all participated, our family and Katie's, to make it a very memorable occasion. About 60 people came together in a beautiful beach house on Topsail Island and we witnessed the coming together of a young man and woman. Their love for each other was evident and I think we all took away a sense of how simple love can be. He loves her, she loves him and we all love them......let's celebrate!!

 Being together with my entire family for several days was an added bonus for me. It was hard to let my grandson go on that last day. He is 6 months old already and as the days tick by, I realize how fast he is growing up. I so  wish we were closer to share in all of the day to day but will have to be content to cherish these small moments of contact and hope that in the future that will change.

For now Ira and I are concentrating on establishing some kind of new business to get us through the next 20 or so years of our life. Real Estate is picking up a little, his car business is showing signs of life and there is still the nagging feeling of wanting to start another restaurant so I've got my hands and head full of idea's. One thing I've noticed is how important inspiration and encouragement are in life. Maybe not all people but I know for myself, when I get a pat on the back or a "you can do it" from someone, it becomes the green light for me. I am an idea person for sure. I have a million things spinning through my head at all times but have difficulty putting anything into action. It's a wonder we ever got the  restaurant started but we did and it became a landmark in our community so I know we have it in us to do great things. That chapter ended many years ago and since then we have entered into a sort of winter of life. Sleepy,cold,dark months of hibernation which remind me of the discontentment of this past winter. Maybe that is why it has hit me so hard this year as I am realizing that each season has it's purpose:

"He is like a tree planted by streams of water
which yields its fruit in season and whose
leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."
Psalms 1:3

Thank God that it says our leaves will not wither for I have certainly felt  the past year like we were withering and it has been a true test in our marriage to just lift each other up when things got rough.  It seems when I am down, Ira came through for me and vice versa. Thank God that we're never both down at the same time. I think that is what marriage is all about. A partnership through the good times and the bad with the knowledge that the two of you can get through anything together, knowing that someone will always have your back.

So we have two marriages in the family now and I am happy to say that I see this strong bond of support in both of these new families. I see a determined  outlook of love and support and hard work in each face and that gives me great comfort. Ira and I will celebrate 40 years in August. 40 years of faith and trust and dependency on God and each other. These new marriages are just beginning and I pray that they keep the faith and appreciate the great adventure they have undertaken......the union of a man and woman.....the marriage of body, soul and Spirit.

GABRIEL AND KATIE

THE CHAPEL OF LOVE (Dixie Cups)
 
Spring is here
The sky is blue
(whoa-whoa-whoa)
Birds all sing
As if they knew
Today's the day
They'll  say I do
And they'll never be lonely anymore
Because they're
Goin' to the chapel and they're
Gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel and they're
Gonna get married
Gee, he really loves her and they're
Gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel of love
Bells will ring
The sun will shine
(whoa-whoa-whoa)
She'll be his and
He'll be fine
They'll love until
The end of time
And they'll never be lonely anymore.

I DO

HIGHLIGHT OF THE MONTH!!!!! My one and only daughter is engaged and the heart that has been so cautious and concerned for her happiness is finally bursting with joy! It happened on Valentine's Day and I about broke my leg jumping off the bed when I received this picture on my phone and saw 38 yrs.of anticipation,hopes and dreams, gut wrenching tears of disappointment and broken hearts flash before my eyes. Finally her knight in shinning armor whom she has been dating for a few years now has asked for her hand in marriage. No exact date yet planned.

Speaking of weddings we took a much needed trip to the coast of N.C. last week to put the plans in motion for my son Gabriel and his soon to be bride Katie's upcoming wedding. It was so very good to take these few days and see and hear something other than the frozen street out my window and the sound of the snow plow roaring up Greenhill Rd. We introduced Max to the ocean which was a sight to see. We got a glimpse of the house that the wedding will take place in and also spent two nights listening to Ben's music as he played solo for the first time at a restaurant on Topsail Island. I forgot my camera and so was not able to get any pictures so you will have to take my word for it....he was awesome!!! He sang and played for almost two hours all his own music and songs which we still can't get over. He always had a knack for poetry growing up so I guess it just comes natural to him and his Dad and I were very proud to say the least.

The four of us were able to spend many hours discussing all the details of this March wedding and took notes of all the nooks and corners of the house and where everyone will sleep and visualizing the whole setup. I feel so much better now that I have a clear picture of how this will all happen. So it was a wonderful weekend..... and then we had to come home... just in time for the next snowstorm!! We barely made it to the house when we heard they were shutting roads down because of the danger of the freezing rain and several accidents on the main road from the beach to the mountains!!!!

 

 

This winter has just been very hard to handle. Haven't written much, haven't read much, haven't even listened to much music which is a sure sign in my world that something is off. The frigid weather that has descended on the whole east coast has made life very difficult. I'm sure if we lived in the big city, life would go on but here in our little mountain town when we get over a foot of snow and several bouts of ice and freezing rain.....everything stops. Granted this is unusual and I know that Spring weather is around the corner but the lack of activity and sparse money coming in from a business that is pretty much out of business has made it tough going. It's funny how the well of creativity and spontaneity seems to dry up when you are in this rut. We have been cooking more since sometimes we go for several days not being able to get out of the house and in doing so are coming up with more ideas for the future dream of the new restaurant that we always talk about. Still searching for the perfect spot but it just doesn't seem to want to appear. The two new engagements that have appeared on the horizon have been like a life line thrown to me. It makes me center on what will be rather than what is.

And so we wait. I feel very confident that something is around the corner. I am doing my best to be an encourager to my husband who is having a hard time with the waiting. I like this translation of 1Peter 5:6-7

"So be content with who you are and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you. He'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God, He is most careful with you."

I love the thought that God is "most careful with me."

DAY 10/Update

Just getting ready to cross the finish line. I remember last year that as far as you come on this fast, the last day is a hard one to do. For some reason you feel like it's over and so you tend to not be as strict with yourself on the last day. I think we went to Carraba's last year and I ordered some veggies but then when it came could only pick at them. Since I'm working all day today it's making it easier. Sipping on my juice and will maybe eat an orange today. Definitely worth all the effort. I've lost over 10lbs. and feel soooo much better. Feel healthy,cleaned and ready to start this new year off going back to my vegetarian ways and being a part of the solution rather than the problem of what's happening to our food supply in this country. Saw the film Food,Inc. and it only confirmed what I was feeling.

So as we are inching into a new month, I feel invigorated and optimistic about new opportunities and adventures that are just around the corner. Answered prayer has been abundant in the past few weeks in our family. Thank you God that you say "ask and it will be given to you". You don't specify the length of time in between but that's OK, as I know that each day brings new revelations in the bigger picture.

The weather is beyond dreary and it is very hard to even try to think of something fun to do in this pea soup fog. Thinking about bowling....or the jazz concert tonight at the Meadowbrook. A new day of eating lies ahead but for some reason I am very hesitant to jump back to where I just came from. Need to be very cautious and not let my flesh call the shots. Very grateful that God is always cheering us on to grow in body,soul and spirit. That thirst for being all that He see's in me is what keeps me motivated.

THOUGHTS ON FASTING

Well I have started this intense ten day fast once more and I want to put down some thoughts that are racing through my head before I forget. It was maybe around this time last year that I did it and for me once a year is plenty. I started yesterday and I have to say it was not easy. Gabe and Katie are also taking on the challenge but as Gabe is mad at me at the moment, I'm not sure if I'll get much support from them.
Anyway.......first day feelings:
Hesitancy
Excitement
Dread
Hunger
Headache
Missing coffee

Trying to keep busy which is hard as I'm not real busy at the moment.
Going to the health food store to get the lemons, cayenne pepper was fun. Seeing all the healthy foods got my Spirit excited about getting back on track with my eating habits. I've gotten very slack the last few months and I really need to do this for myself.Once your mind gets in control of your body it's crazy how all you think about is healthy foods. I remember drooling over pictures of tomatoes and spinach and broccoli. You start craving what is good for you.

Constant voice of the flesh that this is going to be really hard. Quit,Quit,Quit
Realizing how much of my life is spent thinking about food,preparing food,eating food and planning food for the next day. Our whole social life with friends and each other involves food and drink.

Evening was difficult.
Watching Ira make a delicious dinner doesn't help but I'm grateful that he is willing to take care of himself so I don't even have to think about it.
Missing my glass of wine.
Bored and know that being busy is very important but what can I do in the evening to be busy?? Maybe work on the script.
Taking Max for a walk in the evening helped.We love walking around the neighborhood at night. It's so quiet and no cars to worry about.
Surprised at how tired I was by 9pm
Drank my poop tea....Yuck
One day down and I will now call it a day.

Woke up with my whole body buzzing
Slept very well. Strange dreams. Dreamed that I was watching a video of pieces of my life. One scene in particular was of me in a wedding dress,veil and all
and Ira in a tux, running down a hill. We started running but were bumping into each other laughing, falling down and getting up,toppling over grabbing each other and rolling over as we descended down, laughing all the way. My thoughts as I was looking at it were Awwww..how funny and sweet. When I woke up I thought a lot about how when we get to heaven I'm sure that we will be able to look at a high tech video of our whole life and how that little snippet really does represent our life. Running the race with so many crazy,funny and heart wrenching episodes all the way. I'm sure our life will be in the Comedy section.

The part we are in right now is the pause as the next scene is being set up so I'm expecting the last chapter to be hysterical.
It's funny that Ira and I have been writing a screen play of our life and the last chapter or at least an outline has already been written. I do hope it ends that way.

A new day has begun. It's 6am and I'm starting to get that overwhelming feeling of hunger and how I can't possibly do this fast. They say day 1,2 and 4 are the hardest. I have had a few symptoms of some problems that I am believing that this fast will knock out. It very well could. As something negative is trying to take hold,your determination of the positive for health and wholeness sheds light on it and it evaporates. I know this is a good thing and I also know that the Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Help me Lord.

PIONEERS, OH PIONEERS!!!

I have uttered that phrase from Walt Whitman's inspiring poem so many times during my 30+ years living here in the mountains but thought those infant days of survival were neatly tucked into past memories and then.....the winter of 2010 came creeping in and I realized with a chuckle that not much has changed in our lives in 35 yrs. Christmas came to our little corner of the world with a blast. The sixteen inches of snow wasn't enough the week before and so on Christmas morning when I faintly heard the sound of ice hitting the glass doors in the living room, I decided I better make coffee,heat up the house and gather candles because the predicted ice storm was becoming a reality. Power was out by 9am and there I sat quickly forming a plan of survival. My daughter and her fiance were already on their way from Orlando. Our tiny tree was decorated and ready for the gifts to be placed and Benjamin was soundly sleeping and oblivious to the impending danger of falling limbs that were swaying in the wind just over his room. I had the unsettling thought that if the power doesn't go back on pretty quick, we just might have a problem. Well...it didn't and in fact did not go back on for three days and thus the "Oh Pioneer,Oh Pioneer" refrain came marching in and throughout the next three days and into the next week of temperatures in the below zero range, we were able to put into practice the persevering mentality of our life here in the mountains of North Carolina.

When we moved to this little town from Michigan we really thought we were moving South. We believed all the stories of "Oh, if it snows, it melts by the afternoon", "mild winters, real mild winters". We might have gotten a clue when that first winter of 76 the public schools were closed for 8 weeks straight, or maybe the next year when we had to walk through the woods with three small children to even get into our house because the driveway was a sheet of ice or the many winters of riding a sled down to our car and then pulling groceries back up on that sled later in the day. Not to mention the hundreds of broken pipes...yes Ira could become a plumber by now if need be. Winters are tough, no doubt about it, but I thought those days were behind us when we moved to Florida for the winters. Little did I know that "life is what happens while we are making other plans". We have found our life taking a 180 degree turn and sometimes I wonder if we're going forward or backwards but throughout it all we have never let go of the Lord's hand and so we trudge on, knowing that perseverance is a quality of the Spirit that is developed.

Christmas 2009 was surely a different one. We call it the Christmas that wasn't as we all were in limbo for the entire day. The day after Christmas became our day of celebration. Bethany and Brian arrived safely and we packed up all the food and gifts and caravaned over to Gabe and Katie's cabin in the woods where a brightly lit Christmas tree and a roaring fire awaited us. The boys were jamming on piano and guitars and the smell of a turkey in the oven painted a picture of a "little house on the prairie Christmas". Bethany who is our "glass half full girl", happily sang out, "Now this is Christmas!!



A few days later as we began to make preparations for the big New Years Eve celebration, a knock on the door ushered in my Christmas gift from our absent family, Jill and Eli. A baby... in a car seat stared up at me and I quickly realized it was... My Baby!!! My baby Isiah and his giggly parents peeking from behind the bushes!! Oh my....this was turning out to be one big turn of events that I never saw coming.


Christmas was fun, New Years Eve even more fun and I'm learning through trial and error to go with the flow. If I had known what was coming down the pike this holiday season, I'm sure I would have spent countless hours worrying, fretting and trying to twist and turn situations that were out of my control. I was surrounded with love and happiness this Christmas and am very thankful for my unconventional family and my Father in heaven that continually allows life to be anything but boring.


I hope and pray that 2010 will deliver a bucket full of new situations and circumstances that will provide the opportunities for me to grow and to keep in mind the ending of the poem:

"Has the night descended?
Was the road of late so toilsome? did we stop discouraged nodding
on our way?
Yet a passing hour I yield you in your tracks to pause oblivious,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Till with sound of trumpet,
Far, far off the daybreak call--hark! how loud and clear I hear it wind,
Swift! to the head of the army!--swift! spring to your places,
Pioneers! O Pioneers!"

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

SO THANKFUL

Been very slack the past few weeks with my writing. Just never enough time and when I do find I have an extra hour or two, I tend to spend it cleaning which is the thankless task that seems to never have any finality to it. Our horse of a dog is now becoming somewhat of a problem. Either we get a bigger house on about ten acres or we resign ourselves to a life of constant aggravation,dog hairs and wear and tear on the house that an animal this large inevitably brings. What were we thinking??? But oh the other side of the coin.....the joy and love that he brings which has made me realize these past few weeks, that there are two sides of love...the agony and the ecstasy. This topic of agony or the sacrifice for the better came up several times this past weekend. It made me stop and think about how true it is that suffering is woven in our life from the moment we are born and was woven in Jesus' life as well. Much has been written on this process of purification that exists when we acknowledge that God is always stripping away the negative to make way for the positive. In this process there is a division that is inevitable. As we walk through it,we sometimes whine and complain and when it's too hard, cry out to God...Why???, but in hind sight we always see the bigger picture and thank God that we have a Father that won't let us take the easy route. He uses our life experiences to perfect us and form us day by day,moment by moment into what we are suppose to look like in the Spirit.

This Thanksgiving 2009 was probably one of the best gatherings that we have had in a long time. I'm not sure why, as we always have our large family together with a ton of delicious food but for some reason this year it just flowed at an easier pace and of course I can't put enough emphasis on the fact that our new baby grandson was a part of the picture....a very big part.












Ira's parents were here and the children especially enjoyed interacting with them. George going on 92 and Nellie 87 were in rare form, both looking and feeling good. Eli made the comment that a very rewarding time this weekend was spent having conversation with his grandfather and that George seems so different in his old age; much kinder,more interested in wanting to know what was going on in his life and eager to share stories of his long journey in this world. His comment was "it's too bad he wasn't that kind of grandfather while we were growing up." I noticed Ira staring off into space and I knew what he was thinking...what kind of father have I been and will my children have those same thoughts about me? I thought to myself, do the mistakes of our youth come back to haunt us and are they the sacrifices that we carry to perfect the future? I could feel that very moment that Ira was taking mental note of the kind of grandfather that he wants to be to Isiah and I know that Eli is doing many things different in his role as father than he experienced from Ira, in hopes of perfecting his image of a good father. So it seems each generation carry's some kind of a load to better the next.



In Scripture it says that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus so as long as we are living by the Spirit of God we can at least know that God uses our mistakes for the good.....always for others. The task now at hand involves recognizing the old, impure part of us and grasping the revelation of the perfect. As Norman Grubb many times said, "you have to know who you aren't in order to know who you are." I have to give my mother credit......she was a great grandmother to my kids. Not so much as a mother to me but then maybe she finally got her revelation of unconditional love by the time my kids came along. I've had my share of sacrifice as well and I hope that all the pain I carried as a child has made a difference and is perfecting our ongoing generations. I guess we will never get it absolutely perfect until we sit as children in the Father's house in heaven and finally see the "big picture!"



So for now I am sitting back with a big smile on my face as I look at this picture of a family.......it is my family with all it's wonderful imperfections that are being LIVED out, day by day. I hope we all won't be too hard on each other as we move through life and realize that love is the glue that holds it all together and we do love each other more than words can express.

Answered Prayers

In so many areas I am giving thanks these past few weeks. It seems like God hears my never ending pleas for this and that but rarely the overflowing song of thanksgiving. I have indeed been jumping up and down with happiness for how the Lord worked out my son's employment,moving,new baby,selling their house and starting life up in a new city all in the knick of time!! Does it seem like sometimes God pushes us in this corner of uncertainty maybe as a testing? All I know is that I did not pass the test with flying colors as I spent many months,days,hours WORRYING and honestly had my doubts at time if it would all work out. Of course when it does and it always does, I am terribly convicted with my lack of faith. He has never,ever forsaken me,let me down in any area of my life but still I allow the unknown to frighten me and steal my peace. So... lessons learned and life goes on.



Through all these recent bumps in the road another big step of growth is with my husband. Talk about patience and waiting......I have been waiting for us to be One in Christ for 33 yrs and all of a sudden one day it happened. I heard words I've never heard from him. He has always been a believer but he never understood the surrendered life and so most of our lives he has been very self absorbed. He couldn't grasp what it means to be crucified in Christ. Your life at that point is not your own, it is God living through you and the flesh fights hard for that control. Yes it is true that many people have to go through some difficult situations to come to this knowledge but it's only because you have to get yourself into a position where you give up trying to be something or somebody outside of God. It is especially hard on confident,capable, control freaks and that is where he was living. So.....a few things have happened 33 yrs. later to bring him down a notch and my prayers were finally answered. This has all happened within the last few months so I know there will be much more to this story but I am giddy with excitement for the first time in my life to be able to share my love of God with my husband and for me to know that God is preparing something for us to do as a team to reflect that love. I will share that story as it unfolds because I think it will be a great testimony to the business minded person out there that feel like they love God but do not see the abiding as a first priority. Bottom line is there is no life unless He abides in you....it's just a front that will eventually come falling down.


On top of all these blessings there still was one more and that was when Gabe and Katie announced their engagement. Another new member of the family, another daughter to love and the hope of more babies!!!! Our family is going to be HUGE before long and I love it!








Ben had his 22 birthday on the 6th and Josh's 35 yrs. on the 12th so there has been much celebrating in our house the past few weeks. Now we look forward to a true day of thanksgiving coming up and everyone is coming home to the mountains for this wonderful time of year. Can't wait to see my new baby boy Isiah who over the past 6wks. has turned into a little man. I've never seen him in person with his eyes open, so I'm in for a treat. We're all just so excited to just be together. God is good!!

Waiting

These Fall days are going by so fast I can hardly keep up. Much activity this past month. What was once quiet and slow paced is now full of noise and motion. Seems like there is always someone sleeping on a couch or in spare beds and my house is starting to resemble a familiar memory......dog hairs,dirt and too much laundry. We have been invaded...but it's a good kind of invasion. Loved ones that have come home to roost for awhile,visitors and of course the lovable new member of the family Max who is providing his own kind of commotion that I never anticipated. He is so big and so full of energy it's scary. We adore him but realize that exercise and discipline are going to be VERY important. I am trying very hard to follow Ceasar the Dog Whisperer's advise but with a puppy you must also carry a good dose of patience. He is six months old so I can't expect too much to soon.

I am getting regular pictures of my other new baby Isiah almost daily from his mom and dad. He is three weeks old now and I'm sure giving his parents a chance to hone up on their patience quota.



So patience and waiting are the words this week that are giving me something to think about. My mother use to tell me that she thought I had a lot of it but sometimes I wonder. I need to look this up in Scripture because there is much written on the subject so it must be an important part of our makeup. My heartfelt request these past few months is having the patience to wait. It seems like everyone in my family is at a point of surrender to the unknown. There is a quiet confidence that God is in control but there is still a restless soul that wavers between hope and despair. I know that God has us at this place to fine tune His life in us and I feel secure in the knowledge that His ways are above our earthly ways but the waiting for His plan to be revealed is starting to take it's toil. I lay in bed at night and worry for all of my children. They are in the infant stages of carving out their future and this world is not as kind as it was thirty years ago for us. It feels like the boundaries are closing in and there are fewer options these days to take chances. I feel this even for myself. Our whole life has been about taking chances and never thinking twice that we were not going to succeed. So why are we now at such an uncertain place in life? Our tomorrows feel like a pleasant dream that we wake up from and realize that it was in fact a dream and we are living the nightmare. It seems like there is so much at stake at this place in our life. Your life depends on the choices you make so I plead with my children to make the right choice. To me the only choice is living out of God's life and believing that all things will work for your good when you are crucified in Christ. Unshakable faith that we cannot yet see what we will be....that part comes in another time and in another place. The proper collaboration between God and us for living is this: God does the living and we let Him.

We need to fall flat on our faces every now and then, to suffer the consequences of making a bad choice, to be afraid or unsure of the future. Bottom line is we need to be perfected in our salvation. This is how God drives us away from a soul-oriented way of living into a Spirit-oriented way of living. Living from the Spirit is a strategy for success. I remember always shouting out the door to family members as they would go off into the day, "walk in the Spirit" and they would smile and shake their heads like I was a little wacky but it's the truth and I still remind them of that truth. As they now face their own mountains in life and I am not there for those everyday conversations, I pray that they have God's truth ingrained upon their hearts.

So on this day I am on my knees for one of my boys as he goes for a very important interview that could determine his future ability to provide for his family. He has been through a tough year and I am wide eyed in seeing him handle it all with such grace. I am so use to being a part of solving problems, trying to make life easier for them all, interceding so that they don't have to suffer and this week I got the reprimand from God that this is not my job anymore. I felt so far removed from all that he was going through and realized there was nothing I could do about any of it anyway so all I could do was pray and that I did. Now it's between him and God and all the years of training him up in the Lord.

"One of the greatest strains in life is the strain of waiting for God."
— Oswald Chambers

And so I wait.

ISIAH ATLANTE GIOVARA

Too much activity going on and no time to sit down to write. Sometimes life has a way of throwing us into a tail spin and it takes all we have just to hang on. The biggest and best event that has happened in a long time is the birth of my first grandchild, Isiah Atlante Giovara. There are no words to describe this event so I can't say to much more than a door of love has opened and I am running,leaping,crashing through into grandparent heaven. Along this journey I can foresee that there will be many new experiences with this child as well as his parents. As I seek to walk deeper in the Spirit, I am contemplating how much I need to stop every now and then and not run too far ahead. Sometimes my emotions get the best of me and I can trip and fall into a pit of self doubt. It's hard to not think that all of life's experiences are about you. It's never about you rather always the other person and the sooner you die to the notion that the world revolves around your little life the better. Anyway we had four days in Pittsburgh sharing the beautiful birth of Isiah with Eli and Jill and we are now home and back in the groove and they are day by day learning how to maneuver life as a family.

I started writing a few notes on the subject of consistency last week and then couldn't be consistent enough to sit down and write. Maybe God was showing me something through it all. Still everywhere I turned the word consistent kept coming up so I know that this is an area I need to look at. I have always been a person, from the time I was little, that would come up with grandiose plans and then never follow through to the finish. I just can't seen to stay on target with a passion. My journal writing is my most consistent thing I do and even then I can go weeks at a time with nothing to say. I make great starts then slowly fizzle out. I don't think God looks on and says,"that was a great intention." I'm even starting to think that He waits to see how serious we really are as to what we believe. It's like paying someone to do a job before the job is done. I have done that a few times and gotten burned. In hindsight I would think, "why did I pay the guy upfront.' He either did a half way job or in one instance he did half a days work, went to lunch and never came back. I learned my lesson through these experiences and so now I wait,evaluate and then reward. Maybe God does the same thing. Your relationship with Christ has to be anchored to a source that is consistent and daily, not occasional. The reward comes later and that sometimes is the hard part.

Ira and I have committed to a daily prayer time before we leave the house. Sometimes it's easy and some mornings when we're both racing around it becomes a little difficult but I am trying to not look at it as something we are just fitting in when we have the time. I am looking at it as a commitment that will be producing a great reward in our lives and in the people we pray for.

Spiritual consistency - the kind where you keep gaining ground instead of just gaining and losing the same ground over and over again - that kind of spiritual consistency is anchored first to this daily, non-negotiable time with the Lord. The fuel for your faith has to be a daily time in His Word, looking for a practical step of obedience for that 24 hours. Your life is one day at a time and in God's Word to us, He only promises us daily bread.

Spiritual consistency also means a fresh, daily surrender of your life and the things that really matter to you. You have to learn the power of resisting the devil instead of just allowing him to manipulate you through your feelings. Remember, if you "resist the devil," then "he will flee from you" (James 4:7 ).

If I can make each new day a new beginning then I can stop trying to keep the last high moment in my life alive and instead press on to all the good things that lie ahead. I've ridden this spiritual roller coaster long enough and to me this deeper walk in the Spirit is a life that is consistently trusting that God has a plan for my life and as I depend on His leading for each day, it will come into being.



My sweet Gabriel has returned home from Hawaii and he and the love of his life Katie are desiring to maybe start a little cafe here in the mountains. Yes, my passions run ahead and envision marriage and babies and something we could all do together but I am trying to take a deep breath and let God work. If it is to be, it will be. In the mean time we are all bonding as a family,seeking God's Word on each decision we must make and WAITING....the hard part!!

Superior fellowship this morning!!! Just love those early hours that I spend dwelling on what God wants to have me learn. Yesterday I read a description of what heaven might be like from a book called The Unknown Prophet and I was so overwhelmed I cried for an hour. You think you might have an inkling as to how glorious it will be and then these words made me fall to my knees.

It has been a busy week so far as we really start the countdown for our precious grandchild to makes his or her journey into this world. I am making plans for the dog sitter (Uncle Ben),buying baby gifts,packing,getting the car ready and just plain worrying about all the things that won't get done and won't matter one way or the other if they do. It's like one of the most wonderful events is on the verge of happening and your mind can't even comprehend how you are going to handle it. I can only imagine how on edge with excitement Jill and Eli are as they enjoy these last few days of being two.

A few things have stood out this week that have made me stop in my tracks and really think. It started yesterday when Suzanne sent me this email:

"Like your blog from Friday. I've been thinking about rotten apples since Wed, too. Peter and I talked about it a little. One scripture you quoted reminded me of a story - "Don't spend time with those who are foolish or eventually you won't be able to discern knowledge. (Proverbs 14:7)"

Ruth Bell Graham was at a dinner party - and seated beside her was the Chairman of the Fed Reserve. So she started talking to him about his job - he was explaining about the Reserve, how it worked, etc. They were talking about counterfeit money - and Mrs. Graham commented that they must have looked at and studied a lot of fake bills. He said No! On the contrary - they spent all their time studying the real thing. Then when they saw a fake - they knew it immediately. I thought that was an interesting reverse way to look at it. And funny, I thought of that story immediately when I read that verse.

Another thing Peter and I were talking about last week - you and I were discussing "crucified with Christ.." Peter said remember, crucifixion is a slow death. We didn't have the chance right then to discuss it further - but it made instant sense to me."

And to me also. The action that causes death and our reception of it, is quick but the dying part of the flesh is a slow process. I never really thought of it that way before. We won't be able to say "it is finished" until we see Him face to face. So...in the mean time this week I am getting quite a lot of conversation on fruit. Last week it was rotten apples and this week the bearing of the fruit. I read several things on this subject yesterday. This one from Nelson Mandela:

"It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."

David Wilkerson wrote this:

“Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit” (John 15:16).

Many sincere Christians think bearing fruit means simply to bring souls to Christ. But to bear fruit means something much larger even than soul winning. The fruit Jesus is talking about is Christ-likeness. Simply put, bearing fruit means reflecting the likeness of Jesus. And the phrase “much fruit” means “the ever-increasing likeness of Christ. Growing more and more into Jesus’ likeness is our core purpose in life. It has to be central to all our activities, our lifestyle, our relationships. Indeed, all our gifts and callings—our work, ministry and witness—must flow out of this core purpose.

If I am not Christlike at heart—if I’m not becoming noticeably more like him—I have missed God’s purpose in my life. You see, God’s purpose for me can’t be fulfilled by what I do for Christ. It can’t be measured by anything I achieve even if I heal the sick or cast out demons. No, God’s purpose is fulfilled in me only by what I am becoming in him. Christ likeness isn’t about what I do for the Lord, but about how I’m being transformed into his likeness. So, do you want to bear the “much fruit” that springs forth from becoming more like Christ? We fulfill our life’s purpose only as we begin to love others as Christ has loved us and we grow more Christ-like as our love for others increases."



The image that I was led to in the analogy of a piece of fruit helped me to see it. Exposing yourself to the negative energy of decay also gave me a vivid picture of how much bad company corrupts good character. Always learning with these little tidbits.

I have had good opportunities this week to first of all feel God's love and then to instead of "hiding my light under a bushel" move out into the world and shine a bit. I have been spending way to much time withdrawing from the world these past few years. It was so obvious to me the minute I moved out of my safe,non stressful place I have been stagnating in. The enemy wants nothing better than to render you useless and that's kind of how I've been feeling lately. Your life is so full in the beginning with children and careers and all the planting going on(there's that image of seed to fruit again) and then what happens? Fruit is formed but doesn't grow and stays green and eventually falls off the tree and rots. I feel like God is saying, "get a hold of yourself and remember who you are. You come from a royal lineage,predestined to do great things for My Glory. Keep moving, keep growing and I'll tell you when to stop which will be when you're ready to leave this world and you get to experience first hand that Glory you got a taste of the other day." It's kind of hard to let your light shine which in turn reflects the sun/Son when you hide in the shadows and don't take risks. What does that all mean......I don't know for sure. In hindsight it will probably all make sense. I'm just expressing what He's showing me for today and hope it blesses someone else as well.

ROTTEN APPLES

Well for some reason this week God is speaking to me about what exactly happens when a rotten apple is able to co-exist with it's fellow apples as in the familiar phrase of how "one rotten apple will spoil the bunch." I thought it a strange topic at first but once again confirmations come at me right and left so I listen carefully to those confirmations and ultimately end up with something to write about. This seems to be working well for me and I trust that God is leading me always towards my growing up in Him.

So what exactly is the scientific explanation of what happens when your nice big bowl of fruit succumbs to this process of decay?

"This occurs because the rotting apple gives off a gas called ethylene, which speeds the ripening of the other apples in the fruit. Ethylene production can also be induced by a variety of external aspects such as mechanical wounding and environmental stresses. Ethylene gas in biology, is known as a hormone. Hormones, as they do in humans, cause growth."

Interesting to see the connection of decay and then breakdown that is at work in all of God's life. I think this topic came up because of a discussion on the fear of some individuals being susceptible to friends of theirs that are walking in dangerous areas.....drugs, loose morals,denouncing Christ as the only way to salvation. Can they stand firm in their walk with God without this negative influence affecting them? That is always every parents biggest fear....peer pressure that can raise it's ugly head in children as well as adults. It must be an important issue, as there is much spoken on this topic in Scripture:

Be not deceived, bad company corrupts good morals
(Proverbs 4:14)

* Don't be spending your time with someone who's angry or hot tempered or you may become like that yourself. (Proverbs 22:24)

* Don't answer a fool regarding his own foolishness because you may end up like him. (Proverbs 26:4)

* Don't spend time with those who are foolish or eventually you won't be able to discern knowledge. (Proverbs 14:7)

If you are in the company of those who are wise, you will gain wisdom. If you are in the company of those who are evil, you too will become evil. (Proverbs 13:20)


The Bible tells us that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds. God’s ultimate aim for us is spiritual growth. His goal is to transform us into the express image of His Son Jesus Christ. The main reason that God will start to take out the friends in your life that He does not want you to have is because some of these people may be negative influences in your life and hinder your own growth. The pressure to conform is so hard, especially in young people. Having friends and being accepted is such a huge mountain to climb. I feel all my kids have gone through some form of this and even now I still feel that they walk the middle of the road sometimes just to be a part of the accepted group.

God will not put up with this, and He will remove these bad influences out of your life if you enter into this full surrendered walk with Him. For those who are married and have children - it is the same thing when you do not want your children hanging out with other children who you know would be a bad and negative influence on your child. You know that if your children start hanging out with the wrong type of crowd, they can become very easily corrupted in a very short period of time. It would be comforting to believe that if they have received Christ they are strong enough to stand their ground but there is a growing up process going on physically and spiritually. We go from infant to young men to adults and along these growing years is where maturity happens. At some point I think you do reach a place of maturity where you are not easily swayed but it takes time.

Ephesians 4:13
until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

Hebrews 5:14
But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

We are all operating at different levels of spiritual development with the Lord. God knows best as to who would be best suited for you at the level of spiritual development that you are currently operating at with Him. I have always been a person with a few very close friends, even in high school. When God does bring in these types of special friends to share your journey with, they become real treasures! They might be with you throughout your life or maybe just for a season but I trust that each interaction has a purpose.

Sadly, what you will find out very early on, is just because someone may be a saved and born again Christian does not mean this person has their act together in the Lord. Some people have become too judgmental and too critical in their walk. Some have become too arrogant and pompous, thinking that they have all the answers to everything. God will always be fine tuning us in how to walk in the Spirit. I know sometimes my kids think that is where I am coming from and I am trying to stay strong in what I believe,share who I am in Christ with them and hope that it doesn't come off that way but I know it probably does sometimes and I ask God and them to forgive me. When someone says that they see something different in me, I only hope that it is Christ that they see.

I pray that God will bring the right people into their lives at the right time. How He gets you to meet some of these people in the first place is exciting. Some of these interactions are quite incredible, as most of these people will be total strangers to you until God moves in to match the two of you up. I just took a new job the other day and was so delighted to meet a new Christian woman in real estate, also expecting her first grand child in a few months. It was kind of a confirmation that this is where God wanted me for now. The possibilities are endless as to where these people may come from and I've come to realize that these kindred Spirits can come from anywhere and at anytime - so keep your radar up, as you never know when God may move to bring one of them into your life.

We are so praying for our children to find these prayer partners, kindred spirits, forever friends, "good apples" in their early adult years. To have friends that share your faith, that will pray for you when things get tough and stand with you through thick and thin is truly a blessing. Dividing yourself between who you are in Christ and who you are in the secular world is tricky. Only in Christ is there power to defeat the enemy and I believe it's only purpose on earth is to stop the spread of the gospel. The gas that is released from the apple, quickly does it's job on a bowl of fruit and the negative energy of an ungodly person has the same effect.....decay!

Feel like I wrote this for someone.....it's just what was on my mind.

HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE

I said this to myself this week. Just marveling at what the meaning of that phrase is. It can at first bring images of panic as if your world is caving in and you are hanging on by a thread and then when I put the emphasis on "dear life", I felt a soothing double emotion of safety and protection. I've been a little stumped this week with my conversations with the Lord. I wasn't paying careful attention and He wasn't speaking. Distractions were everywhere and even a few ill feelings trying to defend myself with one of the children. I have a tendency to make the world look dangerous because indeed I think it is a very dangerous world but after spending many years preaching the "it's all good" message to my family, I get challenged every once in awhile.

It's a very different world these days and myself and many others are sensing there might be a time coming soon where God says, Enough...and so the end times will begin. According to one member of the family, I am not practicing what I preach when I react to the fear mongers that are everywhere on the internet. So today as I look for your nudge God, You ran Psalm 16 across my path and there was my confirmation in the first verse. This translation is from The Message:

Keep me safe, Oh God
I've run for dear life to you.
I say to God, "Be my Lord!"
Without you, nothing makes sense.

And these God-chosen lives all around
what splendid friends they make!

Don't just go shopping for a god.
God's are not for sale.
I swear I'll never treat god-names
like brand-names.

My choice is you, God, first and only.
And now I find I'm your choice!
You set me up with a house and yard.
And then you made me your heir!

The wise counsel God gives when I'm awake
is confirmed by my sleeping heart.
Day and night I'll stick with God;
I've got a good thing going and I'm not letting go.

I'm happy from the inside out,
and from the outside in, I'm firmly formed.
You canceled my ticket to hell-
that's not my destination!

Now you've got my feet on the life path,
all radiant from the shining of your face.
Ever since you took my hand,
I'm on the right way.

LOVED THAT!! Needed that. It doesn't take much to push me forward and most of the time it's a stone thrown that makes me leap ahead and duck for safety. I am quick to anger but in that anger I reevaluate and focus on the Truth of the matter. Everyone has to find their own truth and the hard part as a mother is to not drown out another's voice.
Who am I but a small reflection of the bigger picture. I've always loved this line from a William Alexander Percy poem that came to mind:

"I have a need of silence and of stars.
Too much is said too loudly. I am dazed.
The silken sound of whirled infinity
Is lost in voices shouting to be heard."

On Wednesday when Suzanne and I prayed, I felt sure I heard the words, Relax and Trust. You never know what that implies....where that direction will take you and tonight as I make peace with my unseen foe, I see that there is somewhat of a duel message here. I am for sure hanging on to "dear life" and at the same time learning how to relax and trust.

"Ever since you took my hand
I'm on the right way."

As a mother all I want to be sure of is that He has their hands.

Setting My Faith

After a busy week with much activity going on in both of our lives, Suzanne and I spent most of our time together Wed. morning discussing the events of the week. As I look back over what was said I think the question of how God touches the lost world through Christ's life in us, might be the message He will be using for me to focus on this week . We both discussed friends that were caught up in lifestyles that in our eyes would not be pleasing to the Lord. Both of these people are not believers but both people are friends that we love and respect and so how you relate to them when your foundations are so contrary is an important issue. I will wait to hear what you have to say about these interactions God and why you would want to discuss this with me.

Since last week You drove home the point of what faith actually is, I am thinking this week that in relation to being a living witness to people in my circle of life that do not know how to operate in this realm, the point would be..... how is that glow of faith's reflection made visible?

This came my way this morning, written by David Wilkerson,that gave me some insight:

"When I can rest through storms, when I have cast every burden on Christ and I hold my faith position, then I have obtained a “good report.” I am becoming a beacon of hope to those around me. Those who watch my life at home, at work and on my block may not respond openly. But they will know there is hope and redemption available to them. They can look at me in my hour of crisis and say, “There is hope! There stands someone who has not lost faith in God. There is a fighter who will not quit. He trusts his God!

As calamities increase, and the world falls into great distress, the believer’s response must be a testimony of unwavering faith. We have the Holy Spirit abiding in us, and we have the Bible, the fully revealed Word of God. We cannot boast in our own flesh, but we can lean on His Word.

I still have so much to learn about “setting my faith.” But I have tasted the victory that comes when I trust the Lord in all things, when I purposefully lay all my burdens on Christ and go my way at rest."


Setting my faith.....I like that. God you really are talking to me this way and I love the anticipation of what You are up to. I am learning to hear Your voice by being observant to the day to day, moment by moment earthly voices that pass before me. You are so invisible and seemingly out of reach but you have given us the Holy Spirit made possible through Christ and you have given us each other for strength and encouragement......if we only have ears to hear and eyes to see what is right in front of us.

Tonight is the memorial service for one of our dear friends that was killed last week in a car accident. This will be a difficult evening for all of his family and friends. He was not a believer in the gift of Salvation but he was a good man. His death has had a tremendous effect on me in exactly what God has been discussing with me this week...how we reflect God's presence to the world when it's all said and done. I woke up at 4:30 this morning with no question that God was beckoning me to get up and "let's talk". I curled up in the bed in our guest room and opened my Bible to Psalm 15 and got great comfort from David's words:

"Lord,who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?

He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart
and has so slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,
who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the Lord,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,
who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe
against the innocent.

He who does these things will never
be shaken."

And I have to add that none of that is possible without the perfect Life of God that so graciously has been given to us through Christ. I couldn't make it one day in my own strength and thank goodness I don't have to. I really sense God telling me to stop and smell the roses.....they are all around you. God isn't concerned with outward appearances, or religious symbols and rituals. The only thing that matters to God is our faith in Jesus Christ, and the way that it is put into practice in our lives.

Next Wednesday, when Suzanne and I meet, is still a few days away.
What more do you have for me Lord?

The Muscle Of Faith

Every Wednesday at 6:30am,my friend Suzanne and I meet together via the telephone to pray for our families and share what God has been doing throughout the week. There can be no doubt about it that the topic of conversation last week was Faith. Seems like a common aspect of our walk with God but for some reason today after discussing all the ups and downs a few of our children are walking through, the thought popped into my mind...could faith operate somewhat like a muscle? There could be no debate on the fact that a muscle needs to be worked in order for it to perform it's function so the first thing I did was look up the actual definition of a muscle to see if I could see the correlation.

mus.cle
noun-a band or bundle of fibrous tissue in a human or animal body that has the ability to contract, producing movement in or maintaining the position of parts of the body.

verb-move an object in a particular direction by using one's physical strength.

I soon found out that I am not the first one to come across this revelation, as my research produced many things written along the same lines. But what exactly is God telling me about faith in my walk with Him and almost as a answer to my question, I noticed that throughout the week everywhere I looked I saw a message pertaining to this topic. Even the apostles said unto the Lord..."Increase our faith" in a chapter of Luke. So I'm getting the picture that the Lord might be speaking to me about the increase of my faith. I'm curious now to think that if I visualize faith like a muscle that maybe giving that muscle a workout might be of some benefit to my soul. The opposite of faith is doubt,fear and worry and I can attest to the fact that I swing back and forth much to often.

How else can this muscle of faith be developed unless it is put to the test in what I call the issues of life which we all wrestle with on a daily basis. We would love for our faith to move mountains but what about the the little things, the day to day worries such as getting from point A to point B, or to know that your finances will carry you through the month or that a sick child will be made well? Jesus said "if your are faithful in the little things, you will be faithful in the greater things too". Faith is not magic. It has taken me many years of dependency on a God I can't see or hear to trust His word. One issue after another provides me the opportunity to lean on Him and acknowledge His ways and sure enough, He has never failed me.

The Psalms say that the Lord is our refuge, a light and our salvation but I think what is going on has more to do with our participation rather than us just sitting silently by waiting for God to take care of our every need. When Jesus said in Matthew 7 to "Ask,seek,knock and the door will be opened" that implies a forward motion, a movement on our part, a strengthening of the muscle to gain the victory. The exercise of that faith muscle makes the difference in what ever issues you are facing. Is there anything truly worthwhile in life that has been won without an effort? I guess once we know we have done all we can do, we then stand still and watch and wait.

This morning God spoke to me about an interesting way of communication with Him that I never thought about before. Throughout these past months of my prayer time with Suzanne we marvel at how God leads our conversation and has us discussing what He wants us to pray about. Since this topic of faith was so vividly real to me last week and it was no coincidence that every day I was being presented with yet another nugget of information on my original question, I decided to start a journey of a "one on one" with God in this same way and write about it so I can look back and read the writing on the wall. I have asked God to reveal what He wants to discuss with me each week; what does He want to show me, teach me, grow me up in? What areas of my life do I need discipline in and I will in faith be expecting His reply.

Here I am Lord, speak to me!!!

"Judging ones own writing is like looking in a mirror. What you tell yourself about what you see in the reflection has far more to do with how you feel about yourself than with how you actually look." Betsy Lerner

Long time no posts!! The summer is going,going,almost gone. In a few days Ira and I will be celebrating 39 years of married life which means it is the end of August. It also means we are inching closer and closer to Baby Gio's entrance into the world. All thoughts and future plans are centered around this exciting event. Loose ends are slowly coming together in everyone's lives so I am relaxing a bit more with the details. Looking forward to Gabe's arrival home at the end of next month. I have really missed him and look forward to hearing about his most excellent adventure. This latest picture tells me we might have a future surfer in the wings. He looks good and I smile every time I see it.



We have all been through a pretty tough year. So many changes have taken place in all of our lives. It feels like we have held steady through the storm and brighter days are ahead, but who knows. I'm working on being content in all things,which is easier said than done.

I like this quote that I found in my journal coming from an interpretation of John 14:27

"This is the acid test that we should apply to all systems and understandings. If some advice on how we are to live claims to be the truth of God then it had better be effective. God's provision and life NEVER fails. This does not mean that physical prosperity or even physical health is the sign of God's blessing on a life. Rather...the ability to endure all things is the mark of the life lived by submission to the truth of God. It is the presence of peace and rest in all circumstances of our living that marks a life as one which is being lived in accord with the Father's truth."

How true!!