Three things there are too wonderful for me,
Four which I do not comprehend,
The way of an eagle in the air,
The way of a snake on a rock,
The way of a ship in the midst of the sea,
And the way of a man with a maid
.
proverbs 30:18-19
Today is our anniversary and so a good time to reflect on marriage and the tapestry that is being woven these past 38 yrs. It's a good thing every once in awhile to reflect. Maybe every year on the eve of 365 days of hanging on for dear life, I'll remember to take a moment and take stock of what's gone down. It can be my little ritual.
I think I just recently started to understand how complex and deep this marriage business is and what God had in mind when He said, "It's not good for man to be alone." I moved into that position at a very young age, so there has not been much time spent without my soul mate. I've always known marriage is not about the joining of two people so much as the two people becoming one but it sure has taken me a long time to totally comprehend that revelation. The past few months it started to sink in and latched on like never before. Maybe the reflection is coming on strong because we are approaching the wedding of Eli and Jill and as they begin this marriage journey, you so want to pass on any nuggets you have learned if only to warn of upcoming pitfalls; kind of like blinking your lights to oncoming cars to warn of a speed trap. I'm always very grateful of that but then I shouldn't be speeding in the first place. But we do speed and we do make mistakes and I know that that is a part of the process. While I groan, God builds. I’ve found that keeping the adventure and excitement is an important part of our relationship. Life can get a little boring at times. Same old same old so I think we are going to to something daring today and go canoe the New. We've had many wonderful memories boating and tubing down the New River, it's truly a beautiful and fun way to spend an afternoon. In the past we have always gone with friends and family but today we'll go alone...just the two of us. There are some things I want to discuss with Ira about marriage and I feel like I'll have a captive audience as it takes about 3 hrs. from start to finish. The main thing I want to share on this most hallowed day is that I see so clearly now that the relationship between what's going on with Ira and I is very similar to what's going on in my relationship with the Lord, almost like a temperature gauge. I've been feeling a little distant lately with Ira, seems like the surface stuff gets priority and our connection time always comes last. I've been feeling that with the Lord as well. I know it's not Him that moved but nevertheless I feel it. Could it be that easy when He says "draw close to me and I will draw close to you". A big part of my floundering these days is this mid-life transition. Don't like it at all!!! Thirty eight years of non-stop activity, five wild and crazy kids, four of them boys (mothers of boys will sympathize), the insane life of owning a restaurant for 21 yrs., the real estate profession, two dogs that walked the walk with us and then all of a sudden one day.......silence. Kids gone, business sold, even the dogs died and here we are two aging...which isn't fun...old farts starring at each other saying, "now what???"
I realize that this hump is a necessary part of the relationship between God and man and with each other so I'm trying patiently to stop asking the age old question of "are we there yet??" too much. I have to remind myself that this is a journey with a beginning,a middle and an end. Middle can be good. Middle can be adventurous, middle can be exciting but middle can also be scary. I found this poem written on an old piece of parchment paper, tucked in a book in an antique store years ago and bought it for 50 cents. I had it framed and gave it to Ira last year on this day. We had a beautiful anniversary dinner surrounded by all the children at Dominic's in a private little gazebo with the sun setting into the mountains. It was the first time one of the children picked up the whole tab, which is a milestone. A beautiful witness of love and relationships and the reward in my eyes of faith and perseverance . It sums up the long journey and says in short, the person we love is inevitably a cross, as well as being a helper in the carrying of the cross. We journey on together with no map and that can by frustrating at times. I want to know where I'm going, darn it!! God just whispers in my ear.....trust me, you're going to like it. I've given you on earth, a friend, a buddy,someone to make you laugh, someone to comfort you, someone to protect you, someone who will stick with you through thick and thin, someone to share the joy of the journey with, someone to love on this earth and then.....who knows when that time will come......I'll take over from that point on. Pretty good deal.
I am very blessed
TOGETHER STILL
IT HASN'T BEEN EASY TO MAKE THE CLIMB,
BUT THE WAY WAS EASED BY YOUR HAND IN MINE.
LIKE THE MOUNTAINS, OUR LIFE HAS HAD RIPPLES TOO,
ILL-HEALTH,AND WORRIES, AND PAYMENTS DUE,
WITH HAPPY PAUSES ALONG THE WAY,
A GRADUATION, A RAISE IN PAY.
AT THE FOOT OF THE SLOPE, WE WILL STOP AND REST,
LOOK BACK, IF YOU WISH, WE'VE BEEN TRULY BLESSED,
WE'VE BEEN SPARED THE GRIEF OF BEING TORN APART
BY DEATH OR DIVORCE OR A BROKEN HEART.
THE VIEW AHEAD IS ONE OF THE BEST,
JUST A LITTLE BIT FARTHER AND THEN WE CAN REST.
